Thursday, January 29, 2009

Zen Archangelism COSW 01 Down With Archangels' Fun!

The Chronicles Of Super Witch 01->
Down With Archangels' Fun!

In keeping with my theme of disarray, lets start with today may 20th 2006. I haven't slept a wink in well over 24 hours, because my beloved skinny pig, (Sweetness was his name), died last night sometime after midnight from God/dess knows what.

Within less than 72 hours, He went from a happy & healthy pudgy little piggy, to a skittish, sickly-skin & bone rack. He was on a normal diet, well taken care of & loved to bits, I don't get it.

The best news is yet to come, on Thursday, I spent the entire day hand making him his very own skinny pig futon. That's right. A futon. This little piggy lived like a king. I made the matress out of an old plaid vest I had, that I've never even worn but kept in my closet forever. I hand sewed him a pillow, & to make the frame I just bent a metal square in half. The ones used to make stackable shelves. I hung it in his terrarium with paperclips. It was a ghetto futon for sure, but he loved it.

The messed up part is that when I was explaining the bed to Chris, I said, and I quote "well if he's going to die, at least he will have a comfortable death bed that was hand made with love. But I'm hoping he will love it here so much that he will fight to survive & get over whatever this is." Then again, I was talking about Sweetness...

He used to have one of those store bought car beds, but he started eating the plastic material they used for the windshield, so I threw the damned thing out. You know, of all the things I saw Sweetness do, not one of them was about self preservation. This little guy had absolutely no concern about his own personal safety or well being. Life for him was about food, food & more food, pooping & squealing far too loud. He used to love running & jumping around like a crazy before we took in 3 cats for family members.

So, needless to say, I cried my eyes out countless times now. The timing is just unreal. Tomorrow is my 32 birthday & I was looking forward to sharing some of my cake with sweetness. So now, my Sweetness is dead, literally, and I feel bitter. I'm not feeling that there's anything happy about this birthday.

It's also the first one without my Mom, who passed last November 21. Thanksgiving Day- Imagine that-Yeah Thank You for WHAT??? Iv'e heard honest people say it doesn't get any easier as time goes by, and so far, I agree. I still don't get why I take death so dammned personally. I should be happy for those who cross over because they graduated. But I'm not. I think a part of me remains resentful that they just leave here without me. It's almost as if no one has my permission to die. I'm far too connected on all levels to everyone and everything I love, and I've never been one who did well with letting go. Which is probably why Witchcraft is a natural path for me.

I'm a Taurus, Letting go is not my forte. Possessive & Protective are understatements. A Taurus doesn't just 'possess' what he/she loves, we embody it. It becomes a part of us, & vice versa. If you say to any Taurus, "let it go!" or "get a grip!" All we hear is "please punch me in the face as hard as you possibly can because I'm a heartless bastard & I deserve it." Usually some form of verbal assalt will automatically spew forth from our lips, if we don't just snap & clean your clock. Anything you say after that point will get you hurt.

As a 3rd Degree High Priestess, one would think I could easily knowing what I do, just breathe & go on with life as usual, but I'm still thrown way off my center in the face of death. I see the dead in my dreams every time I sleep. I'm constantly having obe's, & doing both etheric & astral projection, & I know they're more alive now than I am, I've seen it myself.

For whatever reason, all my senses are perfectly fine while I'm in la la land, but the minute I wake up, and temporal/mundane reality hits me, nothing is fine. My senses no longer function properly. For example, when I'm wide awake, I can only see them out of the corner of my eye, & feel their presence.

What all this has to do with being a Super Witch is this, my temporal/physical/mundane connection to others keeps blocking my natural ability to see the unseen. Most blockages are rooted in fear. I'm not even afraid of loss, because I know there's no such thing. REALLY! Mine is rooted in love.

I've done all the homework, & soul-searching in all these life-death-rebirth matters, I've even conquered the fear of my own death, having done the etheric fast-forward & attended my own funeral service. The only fear I have left to defeat is sharks, but that's another chronicle all together...

-Archangel Tanahmera
All articles in this topic are my own and are © copyright Born Again Wiccan 2015. All rights reserved.

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